Wednesday, August 10, 2011

It's Not About Me

I was having my typical Monday morning pity-party. Seems like lately we haven't just been under spiritual attack...it's been an all-out siege against us. Strange dogs roaming onto our property and terrorizing our chickens, children coming down sick, finances looking bleak, sleep becoming an elusive mystery and all of the pressure, the stress, the heat, the worry, getting under our skins and pushing us to bickering, losing sight of the things that really matter and draining the joy out of my heart.

I went outside as I often do when I'm feeling burdened, to walk around the gardens and find a moment of peace in prayer.

Lord, you know the struggles we're having right now...

On my knees, pulling weeds near the okra, I poured out a laundry-list of worries and frustrations.

Help us...guide us...show us...let me know...what should we...

Us. Me. We.

Through all these weeks and months, I've wondered why everything we try to do seems like such a struggle and it's all just so hard every step of the way. Why can't anything just go smoothly for a change?

What am I missing in all this, Lord? What am I not seeing or doing?

And of all the things I've learned in my relatively short time as a Christian, one of the biggest I should always remember is to NEVER ask God a question without being prepared to hear the answer.

"I love you, Wendy. But it's not all about you."

Ouch.

I'll admit it, I didn't get back on my knees, turn to my Bible, or do anything that would've indicated I wanted to continue this conversation with my Maker. No, I pulled a mental Jonah and plopped myself down on the computer. As if I could run away from what He wanted me to know.

On Facebook, I saw a friend that I haven't "spoken" to for several weeks letting everyone know that she was leaving for surgery in a few minutes.

"When was the last time you prayed for her, Wendy?"

I had a new message waiting for me from the only real-life friend I've got out here, wanting to know if we could get together and start the Bible study we've been wanting to do since January but have repeatedly had to postpone due to health issues.

"When was the last time you prayed for her, Wendy?"

I signed out of Facebook and pulled up my favorite news website. Anything to get my mind elsewhere, right? There's rioting in London, and I remember my friend in England who is supposed to be traveling to Dublin soon to see her father for the first time in six years.

"When was the last time you prayed for her, Wendy?"

I am ashamed.

When was the last time I did more than give a brief, cursory prayer on behalf of a friend in need? When was the last time I put my own petty little problems aside long enough to allow the burden of someone else's worries drive me to my knees?

The word of God really is a double-edged sword.  I felt it, piercing my heart over and over as scripture after scripture rang in my ears.

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it...
...do not cease to pray for you...
...do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers...
...always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy...
...praying always for you...
...praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints...
Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving...

Forgive me, Lord.  It's not all about me.

photo credit

6 comments:

Carol J. Alexander said...

Can I just say, "Amen"?

Mrs. Stam said...

Amen, thank you for the great reminder !!!

punkinmama said...

Ouch. And also, amen. And thank you for posting this.

Hope things get better for you soon. But also glad God continues to teach us even in the hard times.

Layla Payton said...

Oh, yeah, this gets a big AMEN!

New Southern Pantry said...

How is it that God always sends us just where he wants us to go? Even on Facebook,Blogger,etc..I have been feeling the same way lately. Just got back from a great long weekend with my husband, 2 days later whining & moaning about how I'm feeling. Then I read Wendy's blog & know God is pointing his finger at me. God keep me humble & thankful, praying for others each day.
Sheila

Sharla said...

This is such a great post. I am asked that question too.

I'm wondering if you'd be willing to add this up to my Truth Tuesdays link up. I know that others would be blessed from reading it.

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